We said goodbye to L yesterday. She’s going back to China this week and she is very sad to leave. At the beginning of our time together she told us that she was looking for home. Yesterday she told us that the church feels like home. I’m going to miss her, but thank goodness for modern day technology.
This last week I have been an emotional wreck. I just have moments of realizing that I’m almost done with my mission and then I freak out. There are times when I talk about how excited I am that I’m going to see my family usw. BUT then I start crying my eyes out cause I’m so sad I’m almost done. For the most part though, it doesn’t feel real. But every time a plane flies by someone will always say, “How far away do you think that plane is?” And then I KNOW what’s coming! “It’s about three weeks away.” Oh man. It’s just a rollercoaster.
But I’ve just been thinking about my mission this last week and everything that’s happened and all the people I’ve come in contact with, L in particular. I just couldn’t help but feel a little entäusched that L wasn’t able to get baptized before she went back to China. The Lord had directed her to us. He had sent her to Germany, put her on a bus where we would be and ruined the vacation weather so it would be unpleasant for her to go out and do things so she would want to meet with us. I just had this moment of wondering why the Lord would go through so much trouble and then have it not work out that she could get baptized now. And then I had other questions and worries about my mission and why I had been lead to all of the places that I had and why I had experienced all the things I did. And It took me a few minutes, but I realized that the Lord cares so much about the one.
The Lord tells us as much in Luke 15:
“What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?
“And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing
“And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.”
So why is this principle to understand in terms of sheep and not in terms of ourselves? Perhaps we aren’t all lost sinners, wandering from the fold of God, but we all need individual attention and the Lord will prove to us over and over again that He will orchestrate miracles for us to feel like we are cared for.
In my endeavor to read the Standard Works on my mission I am almost finished with only a few books of the New Testament left. Yesterday, while reading in Hebrews, I had a huge moment of realizing that the Lord cares about me as an individual, as the one.
“For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister.” Hebrews 6:10
I felt as though this was a moment of the Lord telling me, Lillie, I’m proud of what you’ve done so far, you’ve done my work, you’ve done good work. And then the next verse was an additional reminder that the Lord is conscious of all of His children. So conscious of us, that I wouldn’t be surprised if the Lord inspiried Paul to write these verses where he did, in the order that he did so the Lord could organize the fate of the cosmos so I would read it at this point in my life:
“And we desire that every one of you do shew the same diligence to the full assurance of hope unto the end.”
This hit me like a wall of bricks. I realized that yes, the Lord is pleased with my work, but He wants me to keep working. Keep going. Endure to the end.
The Lord just knows exactly what we need, exactly when we need it and He will do everything to make sure we get it. Sometimes it’s easy to view the Lord as some untouchable being. The Great, the Almighty, the Creator of the universe. And although He is all of these things, we learn about His priorities through the principles He teaches us through His modern day prophets. James E. Faust said, “Noble fatherhood gives us a glimpse of the divine attributes of our Father in heaven.” Our Father in heaven is our father, and His greatest joy in life is not in all the worlds He’s created, not in all the marvelous power He has. Instead, His work and His glory, is us. The greatest Being in the universe wants us to be happy and to return to Him.
Our Heavenly Father loves us so much that He is willing to organize any means and any people, to get us to come closer to Him, to return to Him. How great is it to know that we warrant, not only the attention of the God of the universe, but also, that He cares about us so much as to seek after each of us individually so we could return to live with him.
I know our Heavenly Father lives and loves us. He wants to hear from us, He wants to show us that He cares and that He’s there. Trust in the Lord. Try prayer. Your Father wants to hear from you.